Anger Feels Powerful
Luann Budd
Henri Nouwen helps us to see that if we pay careful attention to what goes on in our minds, we'll discover all kinds of emotions, passions, and feelings. “Anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries are the obvious signs that I have left home." He says that these dark emotions are red flags signaling to us that like the prodigal son, we have wandered far away from home. He continues:
"Constantly falling back into an old trap, before I am even fully aware of it, I find myself wondering why someone hurt me, rejected me, or didn't pay attention to me. Without realizing it, I find myself brooding about someone else's success, my own loneliness, and the way the world abuses me. Despite my conscious intentions, I often catch myself daydreaming about becoming rich, powerful, and very famous. All of these mental games reveal to me the fragility of my faith that I am the Beloved One on whom God's favor rests. I am so afraid of being disliked, blamed, put aside, passed over, ignored, persecuted, and killed, that I am constantly developing strategies to defend myself and thereby assure myself of the love I think I need and deserve. And in so doing I move far away from my father's home and choose to dwell in a 'distant country.'" (The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming)
When we recognize our minds are ruminating on negative thoughts, let's return home. Home is where we can fall on our knees and admit we're a mess and be wrapped once again in the warmth of the Father's love. Home is where we belong.
Run home.