I Will Be Found

 I will be found by you... (Jer. 29:14)

I grew up knowing the Lord's presence in my life. I just knew he was there until December 17, 1971, the night I chose to "be cool." Overnight, I lost a sense of his presence being with me. What I had always known was gone. I wanted him back. I learned then that our gracious heavenly Father is a God who hides.

Where do you go to find God? I didn't know.

Looking back, I was desperate to have God back in my life, but I couldn't find him. And then I did.

Two truths I believe:
God wants us to find him.
He loves when we seek him with all our heart.

Even though the Lord sometimes hides, he is always near.  As Matthew Henry writes in his commentary on Matthew 28: “The God of Israel, the Saviour, is sometimes a God that hideth himself, but never a God that absenteth himself; sometimes in the dark, but never at a distance." Once Jesus revealed himself to me, the experiential knowledge of his presence came in like a flood. I was overwhelmed by his grace. I knew I never wanted to feel separated again.

How can we retain our knowledge that God is with us?
The prayer of examen is the practice of noticing where God is at work in our daily life. (See Anne’s article below.) We reflect on our ups and downs daily, list them, and let them become invitations to prayer. Our examen is something we can refer back to during our dark times when we wonder if God is near. It becomes the proof (to us) that God really is alive and at work in our lives. It opens us to receive all of life as a gift from him, and it positions us to be grateful. Practicing examen lets God's love pour into our hearts as we see how intimately he knows us and provides.

Jesus will be found in the ordinary moments of our day if we open ourselves and actually practice looking for him. "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near" (Is. 55:6). Meeting with a spiritual director also helps us see where God is at work in our lives. Recently, Julie White and Gena Larson (trained spiritual directors) and I discussed and briefly demonstrated spiritual direction. Watch our 30 min video from September’s Tea and Talk. It is so helpful to have a trained person direct our attention to the Lord's active involvement in our life.

On another note, twenty years ago I was encouraged by the women who came to the Springs Retreat to publish my notes on journaling. It felt presumptuous to me to assume I had anything of value to share. Pam Farrel encouraged me to go to a writers' conference and see what the Lord would do. (See her article below.) Journal Keeping is now published in English, Portuguese, and Mandarin, expanding my audience to countries I've never visited. Perhaps it's time for you to say Yes to God's nudge to write for his glory. A first step could be coming to the Writers' Getaway in November. As Pam said to me, "It's not presumptuous—it's being faithful."

I invite you to try the prayer of examen and spiritual direction and take the next step toward being faithful to his calling. Jesus’ promise to be with us (Matthew 28:20) may take on new meaning as you see his fingerprints everywhere: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”