Is Reading Your Bible a Chore?

Have you ever found yourself lacking the motivation to open your Bible apart from just knowing you should? I found myself in a dry spell like that for years. Recently, God has been so kindly and organically developing my love for his word in connection to our relationship. Sadly, somewhere along the way (or maybe from the very beginning) that got disconnected for me.

But, God. I prayed some kind of brief, forgettable prayer asking for help to want to read the Bible a while back. It definitely wasn’t anything impressive or lengthy or even continual. I just remember realizing one day that I was waking up eager to open my Bible and that was feeling surprisingly normal and new all at the same time. It was then that I had a faint recollection of my prayer. And an even bigger swell in my heart realizing God had heard me because he had changed that for me. Now, the Bible is a “place” where I get to know him more because he is showing me it is his story.

I have participated in the collaborative Spiritual Formations cohort between NEWIM and Fuller Seminary for 2 years. Something that has impacted me greatly is dialoguing with Scripture in various ways. It is such a simple practice, but I have been struck by the depth of its influence on my thinking. And it was as simple as this: curiosity. We were challenged to read through a parable together and approach the text with questions, not answers: to ask questions of the text, to notice and wonder, to hold back interpretations and answers so we could really engage with openness and to let our questions lead us to wonder and discovery instead of trying to arrive at conclusions. I quickly realized that is not usually how I relate to the Bible.

Together, we read through the story of the woman with blood (Mark 5:25-34, Luke 8:43-48). I had read this story and listened to it in songs many times over the years, and I would have told you that the point of the story was displaying her faith that Jesus could heal her. And this is true. It is even the heading of the passage in my Bible. But I discovered so much more in this exercise of coming with eyes wide open to see and discover. There is always more. Isn’t this one of the things we love about God? We will never be done getting to know the facets of who he is and how he works. I adore this about him.

Back to the story. We circled up around the parable, none of us with a degree in anything biblical—just with the living Scriptures and our curious minds. We started vocalizing our questions to each other. I wonder why…Why did he ask out loud who was healed when he already knew? Why did he call her daughter? Why did he stop for her on the way to see a dying young girl (which seems very urgent) when she had already been bleeding for twelve years?

These questions led us to investigate more details. One woman discovered that this is the only instance in the New Testament where Jesus uses the term “daughter” when addressing a woman. Interesting. I discovered that because of her blood disease she had been deemed unclean by those around her and, therefore, rejected. She had not only lost all her money to healers, but all her community and relationships, too. And, yet she pushed through these very people to get to Jesus’s shawl. She came for healing. And she received it. She was not asking for anything out loud or even attempting anything other than wanting the bleeding to end. But then I saw something: Jesus. He knew the whole story. He knew everything that she had lost. And even though she wasn’t even asking him for it, he stopped everything on the way to a dead girl’s house to turn around and call her “daughter” in front of everyone who had rejected her. He stopped everything he was doing to declare her “well” and healed in front of everyone who had run away from her because they didn’t want to be affected by the disease she couldn’t escape. He knew this had affected her entire life, and he gave her back her reputation in her community. He valued her in front of everyone. He validated her story. He prioritized her. Her healing wasn’t based on what she asked for but based on his understanding and compassion to make sure she received everything she needed to be fully restored.

Since that exercise, I cannot get that revelation of how Jesus responded to her out of my mind. I now own it. I have seen something about him that I cannot shake and that I will carry forward with me as a deep knowing of who he is.

And I can’t stop talking about it!

Lindsay Baldwin is homeschooling two elementary school children and works at a local coffee shop. She enjoys playing outside with friends and deep conversations with anyone. She was introduced to NEWIM 17 years ago by a dear friend and, after 4 years of invitations to a guided silent retreat, she finally said yes.

She credits NEWIM’s guided silent retreats as being one of the most formative practices in deepening her relationship with God and growing in the confidence of her belovedness and hearing God’s voice. Time away alone with God has become her treasure.