Changing Chapters

As I put away the last of the Christmas trimmings, I find myself reflective about what happened this year and curious about what lies ahead. I feel like a chapter is closing as the Lord is inviting me into the new year.

Unfortunately, some seasons in life do not close so easily. Unforgiven offenses, unhealed pain, and unprocessed grief have a way of following us into our present, hindering us from stepping forward. We can grow so accustomed to the companionship of hurt that we can’t imagine life without it, and it becomes the basis of our life story. At least that was the case for me.

As I read the Bible, certain stories caused me to pause. Stories of God’s goodness, his promises to hear my cries, and his assurance to give me the desires of my heart triggered questions about these truths in light of my circumstances and my past. For the longest time, I was puzzled by Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 

How could the difficulties I faced truly be God’s will?

I wasn’t sure.

In my quiet time, thinking about what I read in the Bible and praying through it, something started to shift. This practice of silence and solitude helped me understand that God has a different perspective on my life narrative. He knows the beginning and the ending, how one door closing is another door opening. He knows my mountaintop experiences and valley crawls are temporary yet essential elements in my story.

What I began to recognize was that as I kept reading my Bible and seeking answers, I started experiencing more of God’s profound love for me. It changed me. It was a turning point in my relationship with him. The “whys” of yesterday didn’t matter as much anymore because a future filled with hope held greater appeal. Little by little, my love for God grew deeply. He enabled me to reflect on my past and ask him where he was in those difficult moments. Through prayer, the Holy Spirit gave me a sense of God’s presence throughout my life, even before I knew him (Psalm 139). He guided my steps and celebrated my wins. He also wept when I wept. The Author of my life cried with me, whispering into my spirit that he was with me, telling me to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Life wouldn’t always be this way.

One day, God will wipe away every tear (Revelation 21:4), and by following his leading, we find our way through hope. When we look at our circumstances through the Spirit, not our flesh, we can see glimmers of his greater purpose. And we can know that he has always been with us, then and now, and will continue to be with us tomorrow.

It is deeply healing to know that the circumstances that threatened to distort our stories are the very places where God’s glory was planted within us. His presence closes our wounds, gives us the ability to forgive, and allows us to fully grieve losses. These things remain part of our story, but how we tell it is reframed to reflect the goodness that God brings through each chapter.

As we turn the page into this new year, may we embrace the truth that every chapter, both the joyful and the painful, has purpose in God’s story for our lives. The seasons that once felt heavy can become testimonies of his faithfulness when viewed through his lens of hope. We can step forward with courage, trusting the Author who writes with love and redemption, knowing that the best chapters are still ahead.

Traci Martin and her husband Bil reside in Georgia, have two married daughters and two granddaughters. Traci loves EVERYTHING tea, traveling, hiking, biking, spa days, and spending time with family and good friends.

She is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary with a Masters in Christian Leadership.

Following a decade in corporate America and 25 years as a business owner, she followed God’s calling into full-time ministry. From 2012-2021, Traci went from working part time for a Bible study ministry to being the president. Through all of her experiences, she saw the need of support for Christian women, especially those who serve God. Having a desire to help address this need led to her involvement with NEWIM.

Reach out and say hello to Traci traci@teachingsbytraci.com. 

My Story of the Wilderness

It all started on a Thursday in August. I woke up during the night in severe pain. Even the smallest movement caused shooting pain through my core. The pain was so bad I almost cried.

For almost three weeks, I struggled to feel better, wondering if pruning trees for a few hours had caused such a problem. I sat most of the time because I experienced excruciating pain in my ribs when I moved. To exacerbate my misery, I caught a bug that added chills, fever, and nausea to the mix. I kept hoping I could kick whatever caused my symptoms. 

When my breathing became labored, my husband urged me to go to the ER. Tests revealed fluid in my lungs and shadows of fluid in my heart.  I’ve had pneumonia before, but not with such deep pain that rippled through my entire body every time I moved. I felt weak and disoriented.

The medical staff started IV medication which brought up fears within me because many nurses have had trouble inserting IV’s into my veins. I also had a couple of A-fib incidents—I’ve never had heart issues in my life, and this of course caused more fear as a cardiologist joined my medical team.  
In the whirlwind of circumstances, I felt like my body was out of control. I was scared.

But do you want to know the hardest part? Waking in the night, hearing machines pumping medication into my body, feeling very alone in the dark, and wondering, “Where is God?”

I started to cry and then just sobbed.

As my sobbing subsided and I lay alone in the little room, I felt depleted and empty. Then a phrase from Psalm 139 entered my mind like a clock ticking with familiar chimes: “Where can I go from your Spirit?”

My heart quieted.

I felt the presence of God begin to seep into my soul. Feeling unable to do anything, no journaling, no planning, no writing notes or working, no reading, no specific praying—I just sat in the presence of God and felt his love envelop me.  

When I was feeling better a few weeks later, I had time to ponder what happened and wrote in my journal:

“Lord, my plans sure went awry! I had very different plans for the end of summertime. I was surprised—you weren’t! I feel like you looked ahead and cried—knowing I was moving into a time of great pain, confusion, and fear. But also inviting me to experience more deeply your presence and love.”

Through this experience, I know deep within my soul that God doesn’t abandon me when I’m distracted, overwhelmed by feelings, unable to think clearly, or even reach out to him. The Lord showed me that even when I can’t call out to him, he is there.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you (Psalm 139-7:12).

God used Scripture hidden in my heart to remind me of the truth and release me from fear: God has me. God helps me. God loves me. It’s all about grace.

Julie is the Executive Director of The Unfolding Soul; a ministry serving those who yearn for a more life-giving connection with God. TUS offers spiritual direction, leadership coaching, speaking, and an eLetter that helps people discover God’s treasure in all aspects of daily life. 

Julie is an ordained minister, with an M.A. in Ministry & Leadership and a Spiritual Direction & Formation certificate. She enjoys time with family, reading, outdoor activity…and a good cup of tea. 

Early on in ministry she connected with NEWIM, which exposed her to deeper understanding of walking with Jesus and leadership skills, which continue to influence her life and ministry today.

website - www.theunfoldingsoul.org

my ministry email: julie@theunfoldingsoul.org