What I've Learned About Prayer

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who talked non-stop about themselves? When the conversation was over, you knew everything about them, but realized they weren’t interested in knowing anything about you. If we aren’t careful in prayer, we can become someone who tells the Lord everything about ourselves and what we want and never stop to wonder what he would like to tell us about who he is in all his glory. I learned early on that prayer is a two-way conversation.

Three and a half years ago, my husband, John, had a stroke. It left him a little less able to do what he had done before, and year after year we are “outwardly wasting away.” When I look to the future, I don’t know what’s coming. I desire to know the Lord. I tell him about my concerns and circumstances and share my joys with him. As I’ve learned, he desires to share himself with me. He wants to pour out his heart to me in his Word and through his Spirit. 

Beginning prayer by simply opening his Word and asking him to share his thoughts is wonderful and ensures that I won’t be tempted to do all the talking! Writing down what he reveals to me and what I want to say to him is also a good way to keep my mind focused in prayer. 

He loves to hear our requests and loves it even more when we wait on him for answers rather than waiting for him to give us what we ask for. Waiting for him to answer simply means we want him to do what we ask. Waiting on him means we want his will no matter what the cost. (Psalm 27:11) I’ve learned I need to be willing to pray for the Lord’s will regarding John’s ability to function physically. It would be my desire, of course, that he remain strong and cognitively sound, but I must trust the Lord for his will.

For me, the most amazing thing about the Lord is how he responds when I am deep in sorrow. He doesn’t just listen to me and sympathize, but he enters my sorrow and receives me into his loving arms. He allows me the grace to weep and grieve the losses in my life as long as it takes to bring healing. (Psalm 27:10)

Finally, I’ve learned we are called to develop a spirit of expectation as we pray.  As the psalmist states so hopefully at the end of Psalm 27, I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Take time to listen to the Lord—get to know him. Wait on him and his will. Let the Lord enter into my sorrows and grieve with me. And let him develop within my heart a confident expectation as I look to the future. These are the things I’ve learned about prayer.

Jackie Rettberg was NEWIM’s Executive Director 2009-2016. She led NEWIM's Oasis one-day retreat ministry, leading retreats in 75 churches before creating a DVD with all the resources for the retreat (5,000 were sold).

She is a well-known Bible teacher who served as a Teaching Leader for Bible Study Fellowship for nineteen years. She has been an insightful mentor and much-loved speaker at numerous retreats and conferences during her ministry years.

She currently serves on the NEWIM Pastors’ Wives Retreat team and co-writes material for guided silent retreats at her church.

Jackie and John live in southern California.