What I've Learned About Prayer

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who talked non-stop about themselves? When the conversation was over, you knew everything about them, but realized they weren’t interested in knowing anything about you. If we aren’t careful in prayer, we can become someone who tells the Lord everything about ourselves and what we want and never stop to wonder what he would like to tell us about who he is in all his glory. I learned early on that prayer is a two-way conversation.

Three and a half years ago, my husband, John, had a stroke. It left him a little less able to do what he had done before, and year after year we are “outwardly wasting away.” When I look to the future, I don’t know what’s coming. I desire to know the Lord. I tell him about my concerns and circumstances and share my joys with him. As I’ve learned, he desires to share himself with me. He wants to pour out his heart to me in his Word and through his Spirit. 

Beginning prayer by simply opening his Word and asking him to share his thoughts is wonderful and ensures that I won’t be tempted to do all the talking! Writing down what he reveals to me and what I want to say to him is also a good way to keep my mind focused in prayer. 

He loves to hear our requests and loves it even more when we wait on him for answers rather than waiting for him to give us what we ask for. Waiting for him to answer simply means we want him to do what we ask. Waiting on him means we want his will no matter what the cost. (Psalm 27:11) I’ve learned I need to be willing to pray for the Lord’s will regarding John’s ability to function physically. It would be my desire, of course, that he remain strong and cognitively sound, but I must trust the Lord for his will.

For me, the most amazing thing about the Lord is how he responds when I am deep in sorrow. He doesn’t just listen to me and sympathize, but he enters my sorrow and receives me into his loving arms. He allows me the grace to weep and grieve the losses in my life as long as it takes to bring healing. (Psalm 27:10)

Finally, I’ve learned we are called to develop a spirit of expectation as we pray.  As the psalmist states so hopefully at the end of Psalm 27, I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Take time to listen to the Lord—get to know him. Wait on him and his will. Let the Lord enter into my sorrows and grieve with me. And let him develop within my heart a confident expectation as I look to the future. These are the things I’ve learned about prayer.

Jackie Rettberg was NEWIM’s Executive Director 2009-2016. She led NEWIM's Oasis one-day retreat ministry, leading retreats in 75 churches before creating a DVD with all the resources for the retreat (5,000 were sold).

She is a well-known Bible teacher who served as a Teaching Leader for Bible Study Fellowship for nineteen years. She has been an insightful mentor and much-loved speaker at numerous retreats and conferences during her ministry years.

She currently serves on the NEWIM Pastors’ Wives Retreat team and co-writes material for guided silent retreats at her church.

Jackie and John live in southern California.

Changing Chapters

As I put away the last of the Christmas trimmings, I find myself reflective about what happened this year and curious about what lies ahead. I feel like a chapter is closing as the Lord is inviting me into the new year.

Unfortunately, some seasons in life do not close so easily. Unforgiven offenses, unhealed pain, and unprocessed grief have a way of following us into our present, hindering us from stepping forward. We can grow so accustomed to the companionship of hurt that we can’t imagine life without it, and it becomes the basis of our life story. At least that was the case for me.

As I read the Bible, certain stories caused me to pause. Stories of God’s goodness, his promises to hear my cries, and his assurance to give me the desires of my heart triggered questions about these truths in light of my circumstances and my past. For the longest time, I was puzzled by Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 

How could the difficulties I faced truly be God’s will?

I wasn’t sure.

In my quiet time, thinking about what I read in the Bible and praying through it, something started to shift. This practice of silence and solitude helped me understand that God has a different perspective on my life narrative. He knows the beginning and the ending, how one door closing is another door opening. He knows my mountaintop experiences and valley crawls are temporary yet essential elements in my story.

What I began to recognize was that as I kept reading my Bible and seeking answers, I started experiencing more of God’s profound love for me. It changed me. It was a turning point in my relationship with him. The “whys” of yesterday didn’t matter as much anymore because a future filled with hope held greater appeal. Little by little, my love for God grew deeply. He enabled me to reflect on my past and ask him where he was in those difficult moments. Through prayer, the Holy Spirit gave me a sense of God’s presence throughout my life, even before I knew him (Psalm 139). He guided my steps and celebrated my wins. He also wept when I wept. The Author of my life cried with me, whispering into my spirit that he was with me, telling me to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Life wouldn’t always be this way.

One day, God will wipe away every tear (Revelation 21:4), and by following his leading, we find our way through hope. When we look at our circumstances through the Spirit, not our flesh, we can see glimmers of his greater purpose. And we can know that he has always been with us, then and now, and will continue to be with us tomorrow.

It is deeply healing to know that the circumstances that threatened to distort our stories are the very places where God’s glory was planted within us. His presence closes our wounds, gives us the ability to forgive, and allows us to fully grieve losses. These things remain part of our story, but how we tell it is reframed to reflect the goodness that God brings through each chapter.

As we turn the page into this new year, may we embrace the truth that every chapter, both the joyful and the painful, has purpose in God’s story for our lives. The seasons that once felt heavy can become testimonies of his faithfulness when viewed through his lens of hope. We can step forward with courage, trusting the Author who writes with love and redemption, knowing that the best chapters are still ahead.

Traci Martin and her husband Bil reside in Georgia, have two married daughters and two granddaughters. Traci loves EVERYTHING tea, traveling, hiking, biking, spa days, and spending time with family and good friends.

She is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary with a Masters in Christian Leadership.

Following a decade in corporate America and 25 years as a business owner, she followed God’s calling into full-time ministry. From 2012-2021, Traci went from working part time for a Bible study ministry to being the president. Through all of her experiences, she saw the need of support for Christian women, especially those who serve God. Having a desire to help address this need led to her involvement with NEWIM.

Reach out and say hello to Traci traci@teachingsbytraci.com. 

Forgetting What Lies Behind

Forgetting is easier now than ever as aging kicks in, and I forget what I did yesterday. However, when I clean out a closet or go through attic boxes or the garage cupboards, I'm sure to find some long-forgotten “treasure” that will swoosh me back to a moment that evokes pleasant (or maybe not so pleasant) memories.

A few years ago, my husband was rummaging through old boxes when he found a childhood relic I’d held onto for 70 years—a hobby horse I’d won as a five-year-old in an art contest on Angel Casey’s Playhouse. Encouraged by my mother, I had entered a Crayola drawing, and to our delight, I won the grand prize. It is the only art award I have ever received.

Over time, the hobby horse traveled with me from state to state, eventually forgotten in storage. Wanting to surprise me, my husband tried to reassemble it—but to his shock, I no longer wanted it. I tossed the old, rusty pieces into the fire. A wave of nostalgia came and went, but I had no regrets. The memory, and the original drawing tucked away in my cedar chest, were more than enough.

Honestly, letting go of the hobby horse was a loss with a little “l.” But how do we handle the losses with a big “L”? In 1997, I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack. My world changed in a matter of minutes.  As a believer, I was grateful to know he was in heaven with the Lord, but at the same time, I keenly felt the loneliness and singleness of my new life. My friends, family, and church provided tremendous emotional and spiritual support, and I began to understand firsthand what Galatians 6:2 means: to have others carry my burdens. However, at the age of 47, I was reluctant to surrender my singleness to the Lord, fearing he might accept it.  No, I didn’t want to live the rest of my life without a partner to share it with, so I tightly held onto the dream of one day being married again.
 
I relate to Corrie ten Boom, who, speaking from the experience of a lifetime of loss, reminds us to “Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”

Paul's words in Philippians 3:13-14 resonate deeply with me. After forgetting what lies behind, we must strain towards what is ahead.  But what is worth more than all those remarkable accomplishments? What can take the place of prizes, titles, awards, and degrees? Or on a much deeper level, what can take the place of the companionship of a spouse?

Paul tells us in Philippians 3:8—the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord.  The loss of my husband propelled me into the deepest relationship with the Lord that I had ever experienced. He was my everything. After three years, I realized that my relationship with him could sustain me, and I was able to relinquish my desire for marriage. I also became more keenly aware of many others who needed understanding and support through different types of loss.* Six years later, a wonderful Christian man came into my life, and we have now been married for twenty years. Throughout that time, God has provided multiple opportunities in different countries to share my faith journey through loss.  It’s not about completely forgetting my past but using it to encourage others who have experienced loss.

The same year I labored over that award-winning picture was also the year I invited Jesus into my heart as Savior and Lord. I have had the privilege of knowing him for 70 years now. Just as Paul confessed, I can’t say I’ve arrived or never wrestled with a desire for material possessions or personal achievement.  However, I am learning to understand better the eternal rewards of knowing Christ more intimately as I study his word and serve him in the new ministry that he has called me to. These things speak to his heart, bring satisfaction and joy, and cannot be destroyed or consumed. They are the “treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where [my] treasure is, there will [my] heart be also” (Luke 12:33b-34 ESV).

Where does your stroll down memory lane take you?  Although it is good to know where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced, it’s better—even heavenly—to reach forward to what’s ahead.

*Gerald Sittser’s book, A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss, provided a significant foundation for understanding the tension between our spiritual knowledge and our emotional experience.

Over the years, strong Biblical teaching and ministry opportunities, both in the US and overseas, have allowed Nancy to see the Lord at work in the lives of women of diverse backgrounds.

In 2017, God put it on Nancy's heart to form the Olympic Peninsula Women's Fellowship, a non-profit organization with the vision of unifying and encouraging women in Christ at an annual Inspirational Weekend. As many as 600 women from 70 different churches across the Olympic Peninsula have gathered to fellowship and listen to a speaker share God’s word.  

Nancy and her husband Allan retired to Port Townsend, Washington, and love visits from their five children and 11 grands.

A recent attendee of NEWIM’s Springs Retreat in Three Rivers, California, Nancy was encouraged by the opportunity to connect with other women in ministry and share their vision to deepen their walk with Christ. 

You may contact Nancy by email at opwfellowship@gmail.com.