Why does God answer some prayers and not others? I honestly don’t know. I’m so thankful that God provided a wonderful husband in Ben. I couldn’t be happier! Ben was married previously for 24 years and his wife, a physician, was tragically murdered in front of her medical clinic. They never had children. To this day, we still both struggle with showing up at church on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Unanswered prayer can be deeply painful.
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Three and a half years ago, my husband, John, had a stroke. It left him a little less able to do what he had done before, and year after year we are “outwardly wasting away.” When I look to the future, I don’t know what’s coming. I desire to know the Lord. I tell him about my concerns and circumstances and share my joys with him. As I’ve learned, he desires to share himself with me. He wants to pour out his heart to me in his Word and through his Spirit.
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It is deeply healing to know that the circumstances that threatened to distort our stories are the very places where God’s glory was planted within us. His presence closes our wounds, gives us the ability to forgive, and allows us to fully grieve losses. These things remain part of our story, but how we tell it is reframed to reflect the goodness that God brings through each chapter.
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Do you need the Lord to “show up” for you too? Are you looking to him? Read the Christmas story again and rejoice in God’s faithfulness to his word. God will fulfill his promises for you. He can show up and accomplish things on your behalf.
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Somewhere along the journey of ministry, many of us—maybe most of us—absorb the quiet message that we’re supposed to hold it all together. Keep the team running. Keep the family cared for. Keep our face composed, our hearts soft, our inbox cleared, and our Bible study prepped.
And yet—behind the gentle smile or the well-crafted sermon—there’s often a deep weariness. A loneliness. Even grief. If that’s where you are right now, friend, can I say this as clearly as possible?
You don’t have to hold it all together. In fact, you were never meant to.
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I couldn’t stop thinking. Just one more thing to do, then I could finally relax. But that moment never came. Life was moving fast as a wife, mom, employee, and pastor’s wife. I was constantly in motion, doing good things, but slowly losing connection with the One I was doing them for. Then came the moment that forced me to stop. In a rush to finish laundry, I slipped on the stairs and fractured my ankle. Suddenly, I was sidelined—physically and spiritually.
In that stillness, God spoke.
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Forgetting is easier now than ever as aging kicks in, and I forget what I did yesterday. However, when I clean out a closet or go through attic boxes or the garage cupboards, I'm sure to find some long-forgotten “treasure” that will swoosh me back to a moment that evokes pleasant (or maybe not so pleasant) memories.
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It all started on a Thursday in August. I woke up during the night in severe pain. Even the smallest movement caused shooting pain through my core. The pain was so bad I almost cried.
For almost three weeks, I struggled to feel better, wondering if pruning trees for a few hours had caused such a problem. I sat most of the time because I experienced excruciating pain in my ribs when I moved.
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We have an omnipresent God, always waiting and ready, prepared to give us what he knows we need in all the moments in our lives.
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Have you ever found yourself lacking the motivation to open your Bible apart from just knowing you should? I found myself in a dry spell like that for years. Recently, God has been so kindly and organically developing my love for his word in connection to our relationship. Sadly, somewhere along the way (or maybe from the very beginning) that got disconnected for me.
But, God.
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