One of the most important lessons we have learned is that love and grief can coexist. An adoptee can love and appreciate her adoptive family while grieving separation from her first family. Belonging in one family does not erase the loss of another, nor does it remove the desire to understand where one’s story began.
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She didn’t want to hear me play my violin, but when I offered to sing for her, she agreed. I pulled out the “Fifty Most Beloved Movie Hits” book and started singing some of the songs I recognized. It felt a little strange to be singing love songs to this elderly widow who honestly hasn’t always been that friendly or receptive to chaplain visits. So, after three songs, I offered to leave.
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In August 2024, I felt God was letting me know that I needed “to be ready to turn on a dime,” or as my friend Cindy would say: pivot. Mind you, I had no idea what God was going to be doing in my life, but he was preparing me.
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“When I feel afraid, I talk to Jesus,” she told me. She looked at me with her clear blue eyes, words simple and straightforward.
“Oh! That’s wonderful,” I said. “Tell me more!”
“He looks right at me.”
Playfully, I asked her, “Out of curiosity, what color are his eyes?”
“Blue,” she told me.
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People have always struggled with loneliness at one time or another. But now it’s far more persistent—due to increased technology, habits we developed from the COVID lockdowns, reliance on AI, and the convenience of looking online for not just essentials, but relationships and social connections too. I call this “the new loneliness” in which we now tend to look at screens more than faces, text more than talk, and conduct our business online rather than in person. The result? Fewer conversations. Even less transparency. Next to zero relationships. Loneliness.
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Have you ever been likened to someone who is in no way similar to you? Have you ever been compared and considered worse than another person? How did you respond? Often, we feel angry and frustrated. We want to defend our good name and find a way to feel powerful, not powerless. When anger overwhelms us, we think we have the capability to correct the situation, but we realize after we calm down that nothing good was accomplished, and most often, the situation worsened.
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A church staff canceled me. I loved ministering at this church for many years and never would have dreamed something like this would happen to me. But it did. After several months of going through turmoil, I finally escaped. There was no way I could stay there! I saw the cancel writing on the wall. Before long, my “canceling” wasn’t just among some of the staff, it passed on to numerous church members who wouldn’t talk with me, which hurt even more. I’ll never forget the pain of being hurt by the church.
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Do you have a “Jesus’ spot”? A special chair or corner that you have designated for your quiet time, prayer, and Bible study? I do. I have a chair in my room with a small book shelf next to it. I have cups of pens and highlighters, several journals (each with their own purpose), my current Christian read (“The Signature of Jesus” for the 4th time,) and of course my Bible. It’s all very orderly. Maybe a better word is composed.
I think I have the same system in my spirit. There is a composed version of myself I present to God.
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We live in a world where we often feel like life has become topsy-turvey, as if we have fallen through the proverbial rabbit hole in Lewis Carroll’s Alice and Wonderland. I often find myself praying for the ability to see things more from heaven’s viewpoint. I am comforted by the truth that God’s viewpoint, his judgments and actions are holy:
“There is no one holy like the Lord,,,” (1 Samuel 2:2)
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Where did we get the idea that some things – like books or movies or professions or fast food restaurants – are Christian and some are not? We even push that idea to believe that certain nations are Christian (or at least God-fearing) and others are not. Our classification of inanimate objects as good or evil, and even considering something secular because it doesn’t contain God’s name or have Scripture verses in it, is nothing new.
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