Somewhere along the journey of ministry, many of us—maybe most of us—absorb the quiet message that we’re supposed to hold it all together. Keep the team running. Keep the family cared for. Keep our face composed, our hearts soft, our inbox cleared, and our Bible study prepped.
And yet—behind the gentle smile or the well-crafted sermon—there’s often a deep weariness. A loneliness. Even grief. If that’s where you are right now, friend, can I say this as clearly as possible?
You don’t have to hold it all together. In fact, you were never meant to.
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A church staff canceled me. I loved ministering at this church for many years and never would have dreamed something like this would happen to me. But it did. After several months of going through turmoil, I finally escaped. There was no way I could stay there! I saw the cancel writing on the wall. Before long, my “canceling” wasn’t just among some of the staff, it passed on to numerous church members who wouldn’t talk with me, which hurt even more. I’ll never forget the pain of being hurt by the church.
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Twenty-four years ago, I wondered what role women had in Church, beginning a lifelong journey of questioning, serving, and then questioning some more. All while simply being available to where God would have me.
My questioning stemmed from having been raised as a missionary kid (MK) in France with exposure to various theological perspectives from multiple denominations.
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Why do couples leave the ministry? Of the many rumors that swirl around a pastor’s resignation, we don’t often consider the hardship that ministry places on the pastor’s wife and on their marriage. Women married to pastors are often living in a fishbowl—facing unique challenges.
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