All My Life You Have Been Faithful
Jill Austin
My faith journey began at age 12, but I really didn’t know God personally until 20 years later when he answered the cry of my heart. I was living in Hawaii with my husband and daughter. He was leaving the Air Force with a disability discharge, and our life was about to change significantly.
I remember kneeling in church asking the Lord what my life was going to look like now and how I would be able to adjust to the unknown. Not hearing anything, only sensing fear and anxiety, I made an appointment with my pastor. As he prayed with and for me, I experienced a deeper immersion in the Holy Spirit. God called me to walk closer to him, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me. The Scriptures came alive. My fellowship with the Lord deepened and my dependence on him became more real. God was preparing me for a life of prayerful dependence on him, rather than the Air Force.
Shortly thereafter, we moved to Phoenix, Arizona, and I began to experience how God was answering my every prayer. I found a job. He planted me in a women’s prayer group and directed me to a Bible study. He gave me treasured friends that are still a part of my life today. My journal indicates that I spent a lot of time reading Psalm 32:8 which taught me if I submit to God’s Word and allow him to work his changes in me, I will see his power manifested in my life.
As a result, I desired to spend more time in prayer asking him to direct me.
I went through a painful season. Many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering what I was to do. In my desperation, I mined the Scriptures for their treasures, and they became a roadmap. I grew in my relationship and intimacy with Jesus as he was faithful to walk with me during my struggles. When I was physically exhausted, discouraged, and heartbroken, I cried out to Jesus. Through him, I found peace, comfort, strength, and direction. Turning to God’s Word and prayer, I discovered his promises and his presence to lead me through the desert wilderness. He reminded me through Philippians 4:13 that I could do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I became more sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He encouraged me with 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Prayer and Scripture got me through.
In a time of darkness and doubt, God gave me Samuel’s ears to hear life-giving words. During a sermon based on Colossians 1:9-12 my heart was pierced. I heard God saying to me, “For this reason, Jill, since the day I knew you needed me, I sent people that did not cease praying for you to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of my will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please me in all aspects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of me, strengthened with my power, according to my glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience, joyously giving thanks to your Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” As I reflected on that Scripture, I was invigorated and strengthened with a power I had never known before. I was able to endure the difficulties I faced with perseverance as I trusted in God and his Word.
My friends came alongside me and prayed for me.
As I prayed, I spent more time listening to God than just talking to him. I realized the truth of Isaiah 40:29-31, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” The Lord showed me that waiting is active, and I had to participate with him.
Honestly, at times, the waiting seemed endless. I discovered it required his pruning in me before I could move forward in power. Isaiah 40:29-31 in my Bible has many dates written beside it signifying how often God reminded me of his promises in my times of need.
Many times, I heard in prayer God say to me, “Jill, do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Jill, surely, I will help you in your time of need. Surely, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Prayer and God speaking Scripture to me in prayer helped me walk through challenges in my marriage, times of great sinfulness, and times when I tried to do things in my own strength, looking to my fleshly desires rather than Jesus.
I realize now how blessed I am to have maintained a childlike faith over my 81 years, believing in God and all that he has done for me and continues to do. I try to begin each day spending time with Jesus. I need to draw from the well of God’s love, and I need the manna of the Father’s love to fill me with the joy of his presence.
What have I learned about the Lord? He is indeed faithful.
Jill served on the NEWIM board for ten years and on the Arizona Springs Retreat team for three years. She was a small group mentor for the first NEWIM-Fuller spiritual formation cohort. She has also written and facilitated NEWIM’s Guided Silent Retreats.
Currently, Jill is the Coordinator of the Prayer Ministry in her Ft. Collins, CO, church and is involved in Women’s Ministry where she has led nine silent retreats. She mentors several women and regularly meets with her spiritual director.